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An open billet doux to beloved manager

Dear manager,

I never imagined that I would ever write an open love letter to you but having worked with you for so long I am drowning in the sea of love and can not help but let the world know of my feelings for you. Since you like the bullet points I am following the same. (Sorry, could not do Microsoft excel for this. Please bear with me for not letting you create pivot table this time). Here I go -
  • Some time quick and dirty is good. We should have followed it in stand up meetings at least! Those meeting which soon became Sitting Meetings and later Sleeping Meeting.
  • Forcing me to find significant improvement areas in project every fortnight (sigh). Dear, if there were possibilities to do it so frequently then there must have been some thing badly wrong with project.
  • You wanted me to test 24/7. Your Keep Testing arguments are always roaming on my mind. And if that was not enough you asked me to write that stupid certificate. I wish I had done that as there are enough foolish companies which consider testing certificate no less than bible. And I would have broken the shackles of this relation.
  • You asked me for test status every half an hour. I understand your feelings for me but some times we need to be more patient with things.
  • Forcing me to wear formals, no round neck t-shirt. Despite I work I never had the feeling of having come out of high school. At-least leave these jobs to HR.
  •  Keeping tabs on when I come to office but being happily unaware of the time I step out of office.
  • Filling appraisal form every three month!!! It used to be yearly, then became half yearly and then quarterly. I am afraid it would soon become monthly and then daily :-o
  • Feeling proud in making me work every weekend. Remember how you were chastised by client when you told her arrogantly that team worked on weekends and she told you to be ashamed of keeping us away from family.
  • You expect me to wish you every time we come across. Don't you think such expectation of Public Display of Single Sided Affection is too much to expect.
  • Making us follow what others are doing. They are doing automation, we should also do, they are doing performance testing, we should also. Sincerely, this life is not enough to fathom your Love Experiments.
Dear manager, I don't have enough words to express my feelings for you. Someone rightly said - employee does not leave company they leave manager. I think I would give it a pause and leave rest for another open love letter.

Your beloved 
Test Engineer

n.b. According to one scientific study, Indian IT service industry spends zillions of $$$ on reporting managers whose job is to just assign work and ask status report.

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